A dog lover friend of mine is in hospital with a broken leg. She loves jokes, and is always emailing them to me, so now I decided it was my turn to dial up the humour, and what better than with some dog jokes from a great ready source – Reader’s Digest. She loved them.

So here they are: (these, by the way, are Elliott approved).

 “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.”

“I know,” says the second owner.

“How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.”

2. Q. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

A. Because they have two left feet!

3. Q: What do you call a dog that’s ready for spring break?

A: Pug boat

4. Q: What do you call a sad pup?

A: mellon collie

5. Q: What was the dog’s favourite type of homework to do?

A: A lab report

6. Q. What did the dog say to his doctor?

A. Be careful with the thermometer, last time it was a bit ruff. 7. Q: What do you call a dog magician?

A: A Labrabacadabrador